just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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