i jhust puked up my retainher.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize