I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My vagina just recognized that song.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
