I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
