making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize