saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize