:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Randomize