I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
