it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
being pregnant is like rehab
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
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