Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
