Jerry, you need to find god
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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