Do you still have your period?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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