So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Randomize
