is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I just had sex on a roof
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
