: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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