I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
