I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
