My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
