who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
