My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
