lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I want her autograph on my taint
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
