It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
handjob tips. give me some.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
