I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
