and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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