Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
