I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Also, beer. Big fan.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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