Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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