I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
