I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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