I love black thongs
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
