Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
