how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
