Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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