her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
