I've blown a few things in my day
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
