Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Randomize
