How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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