These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize