I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
