I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
