I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
