I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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