The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
