i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
