I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
