Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Randomize
