butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize