Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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