Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
