One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Plan B is the new Plan A
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
