never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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