NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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