I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
