you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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