He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
