No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
