I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
