If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
