if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I deserve this hangover.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize