I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
My boob is missing a layer of skin
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
