you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
