You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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