New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
