All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize