she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
